So I’ve found Myself lately In a season , we’ll stuck in this season a long hot minute , what’s next Lord?, what does my family need . Over the course of this life’s ups and downs over the past year , in the Storms of life , I find myself repeatedly asking why? , and yes what’s next.
So for some of you who don’t know I’m a wife of almost 13 years to Jeff , a mommy to 3 , Availee bailee and Jon-mikel 11 9 and 6 . And for the past almost 13 years I’ve wanted to live upnorth in Vacaville ca , honestly I don’t know why it’s been a dream so long , and a dream That haven’t changed . I’ve voiced my option on the matter several times
seriously if I’ve had a dime for everytime , I’d be well to do hahah!
Anyways things in life , our life has drastically changed over the course of 4 years , but mainly since last year , all I can say is the enemy had a field day with the dirt devil Stroms that whirl up in our life on a day to day bases . That story will come in a later post . For now just a bit on the journey of now and why and the what’s next
Well have you ever found yourself so passionate about certain things and you have no clue why?!. Well I’m right their with ya . In a recent circumstance me and my husband found ourselves broken , why? What’s the point , praying for guidance , in the melt down kind of way . Just can’t believe what’s happening , like spinning and spinning and when you stop you wabble down and can’t find contentment , can’t find how to stand , well this is our season .
My prayers have been. What Lord why Lord I can hear you , what and where are you calling us what does my family need in this season ?! Is it where we’re at , or are you calling us somewhere new? We both feel were not suppose to be here , but we don’t know where we’re suppose to be and how to get their . Besides praying i feel like , you know that saying step out in faith , Gods calling but we’re not taking that step as of yet . 
A saying I’ve recently heard , and actually am loving
It’s the contentment on the way to the Farm , not the getting to the Farm first . Joanna gains .
I must admit that’s me always looking toward the goal the finish line and not being content along the way . And I need to embrace this season of my Kids , enjoy and not always be overwhelmed in life’s moments but join the joys and not get angry , yell when things don’t go right or from the messes that come along with 3 Kids , things won’t or will never be perfect but ones things forsure theses moments are not replaceable .
So as passions build more and more old ones and some new pointed out to me along the Way as results of ,
Flowers, plants , cupcakes and finding that one piece , the home decor piece that’s speaks to me and the exciting and enjoying feeling of adding it to my home ,changing it up the warm inviting feeling it brings , brings contentment of some sort I know and trust Jesus that he has a plan me me Jeff and my kiddos . What that looks like in the comming months and years I’m not sure of course I have a picture in my mind of how I’d dream it to be , but a big But, it’s not what want i want it’s whats GOD wants
What I dream of God has bigger and better dreams than I can ever imagin .
Jeremiah 29:11 for I know the plans I have for you…
Shan L blog 