The secret is this: learning to tell each other the truth about practically everything.
I say learning because no one has the natural ability or inclination to communicate clearly and deeply with the opposite sex. No one.
When we begin a relationship, we are not prepared or even able to be open and honest with the other person. Quite the opposite, in fact.
We hide the truth. We hold back the truth. We distort the truth. We have no idea how to truly connect in conversation and get to know each other.
We don’t speak the truth because it is human nature to protect oneself and not be vulnerable. Sharing truth, especially with the person we are closest to, exposes us to potential harm and pain. It feels a lot safer to keep truth hidden.
It is the unspoken things that limit intimacy and eventually kill it. It is what we don’t say that keeps us from the soul-mate closeness that we need and that God wants us to enjoy.